Depression Diaries

My depression is a funny thing. It sneaks up on me, hits me when I least expect it. Going through waves of depression isn’t new to me but I’m always surprised to find myself in the midst of one of my “phases.”

For example, as I write this it’s Saturday night. The first Saturday in April (and the first day of the month – my baby sister’s birthday) and I’m sitting on the couch in sweatpants, drinking tea, and watching Sex and the City: The Movie for the very first time. I find myself staring out the window, over the houses in my neighbourhood at the sun setting on the horizon and all of a sudden, I have this huge weight in my chest. I instantly recognize it – it’s my depression.

To be fair, I had a feeling it would happen. We just had two days of rain, I was drinking last night, and I’m dealing with some family drama that really hurt me.

So, here I am, once again. Right now, I’m not OK, but I will be. Soon.